New beginnings

New beginnings

A full bodied shot…in stripes!

I’m looking forward to focusing on writing and taking care of myself in the upcoming year. I decided to document my journey for two reasons. The first reason is to hold me accountable. If I must do something, writing about it or taking pictures helps me. I’m more likely to stay with it if I have to keep updates.  It allows me to see the process, where I start and where I’m going. I’m the type of person who, if I don’t see progress right away, I won’t stick with it.

The second reason is to let other people that they aren’t alone. I remember reading some blog posts and totally relating to what I just read. I might not reach anyone, but it’s worth a shot to put it all out there.

I’m lucky to have a wonderful husband who supports my plan to heal and focus on myself. He allows me to be myself and picks me up when I’m down. He encouraged me to start seeing a therapist, which I did a few months ago.

I have been in and out of counseling the last 15 plus years. I used to be embarrassed of seeing a therapist, but not any longer. Why should I be ashamed of trying to help and heal myself? Something I learned just recently. In my younger years, I didn’t take it seriously. I knew I needed help, but didn’t know how to go about telling the therapist what my real issues were. I didn’t want him/her to know what was “wrong” with me for fear they would judge me.

Now at the age of 33, I realize that I’ve wasted so much time trying to hide my true self for fear of judgement. Within the first few sessions this past summer, I was telling my therapist things I never told anyone else. Part of this was because I met a fantastic counselor who is the perfect fit for me. The other part- I’m older and wiser and done wasting my time. I need to start healing myself if I want to move on from my painful past and focus on my present and future.

At what age did you discover you needed a new beginning? What occurred to spur this new change?


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